These Advice shared by A Father That Rescued Me as a New Dad

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for twelve months."

One-time Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the challenges of being a father.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Life-threatening health problems surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her chief support as well as caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I took on every night time, each diaper… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he burnt out. That was when a chat with his parent, on a park bench, that helped him see he required support.

The simple phrases "You're not in a good spot. You must get support. How can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His story is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. While people is now better used to talking about the pressure on mothers and about PND, far less attention is paid about the difficulties fathers face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his challenges are symptomatic of a wider reluctance to open up between men, who often hold onto harmful ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright every time."

"It isn't a display of failure to request help. I failed to do that quick enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men often don't want to admit they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not justified to be seeking help" - especially ahead of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental health is just as important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad provided him with the opportunity to ask for a break - taking a couple of days overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He came to see he had to make a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the practical tasks of taking care of a infant.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has changed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan believes these will help his son better understand the vocabulary of feelings and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The concept of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without stable male parenting. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, deep-held trauma resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, making difficult their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions led him to make "poor actions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as a way out from the hurt.

"You gravitate to substances that are harmful," he explains. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Strategies for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel under pressure, confide in a family member, your spouse or a counsellor about your state of mind. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the things that allowed you to feel like the person you were before having a baby. This might be going for a run, socialising or gaming.
• Don't ignore the body - eating well, physical activity and if you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - listening to their journeys, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that requesting help isn't failing - prioritising you is the most effective way you can care for your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead give the safety and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking it out" together - processing the frustrations safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men because they acknowledged their struggles, transformed how they talk, and learned to control themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I feel like my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I am discovering as much as you are through this experience."